In her home in Parker, Cindy Woodman gazed at trinkets that people sent to her daughter, Crystal Woodman Miller, following the 1999 shooting at Columbine High School. On the walls and a large wooden bookshelf — surrounding the ornaments, small sculptures and decorative boxes — paintings showcase columbine flowers.
When Cindy looks at the knick knacks in her “Columbine Room,” named for both her favorite flora and the high school, they sometimes remind her of the day that would change their lives forever.
“Just to walk through there every single day is just a quick reminder, but it’s not that it puts me in pain or agony — it’s a happy reminder that I still have Crystal,” Cindy said.
Although the interview with Columbine survivor Crystal was conducted through FaceTime, her emotion was felt as she nodded in agreement with her mother and delved into the intricacies of how her life was influenced after she went to school on April 20, 1999.
“I am so much of who I am today because of what I went through,” Crystal said. “Though I am not defined by Columbine, I am more of the woman, the mom, the wife, the friend, the philanthropist, the speaker, the author that I am today because of what happened that day.”
Crystal’s perspective
After the tragedy, Crystal had a decision to make: Fall apart or forge ahead. She chose the latter, and embarked on a journey that has spanned decades, where she helps the “survivors community.”
At the beginning of her journey, following the shooting, Crystal started sharing her story and eventually found her voice.
“As school shootings and mass shootings became more commonplace, I saw myself really starting to respond and just be there for others and to just be a resource for others,” Crystal said. “My work has been toward that effort for almost 25 years, and so I want to continue to walk with this community and link arms with them and let them know that they’re not alone.”
Over the last several years, she’s been a speaker at schools and communities impacted by shootings. In addition, she’s assisted in opening a therapy retreat for survivors of mass shootings.
Additionally, Crystal has written three books: “Marked for Life,” which is about her journey, and two children’s books: “A Kids Book About School Shootings” and “A Kids Book About School Shootings: For Survivors.”
Her children’s books offer tools and advice for both students who survived a shooting or other trauma and parents and other adults to help them talk with children.
Crystal said among other things in her life, her experience at Columbine has impacted her perspective as a mother.
“Because of my perspective on life and how I view each day as a gift, I love being a mom and I love that I am given the opportunity in life to be able to raise and shape these young people to go far beyond anywhere I’ve been,” Crystal said.
As a mother, Crystal said she takes on the joy and responsibility to teach her children “what it looks like to live courageously in a crazy world.”
“I know what it’s like to have fear so rip your life that you can become paralyzed, and I want my kids to not have to walk through that,” Crystal said.
Crystal was thinking of her children and her perspective as a teenager in 1999 when writing her books. She wanted to reflect how she would address things with her children and how issues were addressed when she was younger.
“We want to make sure kids are talking about the hard things and we’re giving them the language and the space to do so,” Crystal said. “We want to give them tools when they face their little fears and anxiety and we want to empower them to use their voice.”
Crystal said she has shared pieces of her story with her children and will continue to do so until they’re ready to hear it completely.
Cindy’s perspective
Cindy said the weeks and months following the shooting were hard for Crystal and their family, but over time, she saw Crystal overcome.
“I went through my tough times after that, but Crystal was always strong. She would amaze me,” Cindy said.
Crystal listened to Cindy’s words through Facetime during the interview happening at her home.
“I thank God that we still have her,” Cindy said while looking at her daughter, on the other side of the screen, with tears in her eyes.
Like Crystal, Cindy said the Columbine shooting influenced a lot of elements in her life.
“I am a different person today than I would’ve been had I not gone through that, and I think overall I am a better person because of that,” Cindy said. “I think one of the biggest things I mostly just learned is that I need to give myself grace.”
More to know
As a survivor of the Columbine shooting, Crystal said she has been “asked every question under the sun” about that day.
“I think the thing that I like to tell of (is) the hope and the goodness,” Crystal said. “I like to tell of the stories of resilience and the stories who’ve gone on to be impacted greatly, but have gone on to make an impact greatly.”
For Crystal, it’s hard to visit communities and see that these tragedies keep happening.
“It’s so heartbreaking that this continues to be an epidemic that has swept the world,” Crystal said. “That there’s countless… people who’ve had to now experience this — people who know the pain, who know the heartache.”
Crystal believes various elements have led to this point including families, culture, the media, guns and mental health.
“Just talking about one facet isn’t the end date of a much deeper, much greater conversation,” she said. “So, we really need to come to the table not screaming and yelling at each other because I think we’re closer on the issues than we are apart.”
“We are Columbine”
During her senior year, following the shooting, Crystal said she felt the community really come together.
Crystal now lives in Edmond, Oklahoma and she explained that the teachers, administrators and faculty of Columbine High School created a camaraderie and closeness that continues to reign in the hallways of the school today.
“Our kids were on trajectory to go there,” Crystal said. “They were in the Columbine school district and there was a lot of pride even in my kids, sporting their Columbine sweatshirts and T-shirts, going to the football games and still showing up at Columbine because we love Columbine. ‘We are Columbine’ echoes in the halls of our school and in our hearts forever.”
Cindy said to this day, people will ask her how she and Crystal are doing and she’s grateful for the thoughtfulness of the community.
“That just says how wonderful the community is,” Cindy said. “That they still remember and they still have a heart for it all and still feel the pain and joy of it.”
Crystal said it’s important to remember that not all stories are “bright and cheery and happy.”
“There’s a lot of pain and people are still hurting deeply so we can’t forget those who are still thinking about it every single day,” Crystal said.
Crystal encourages people, especially in the Columbine community, to continue to reach out and support each other.
“Don’t do it alone, and know there are still people fighting on their behalf, love them and are here for them,” Crystal said. “We don’t forget the 13 beautiful lives that were lost. We don’t forget their families. We don’t forget to remember them because we carry them with us every single day. We carry their stories. We carry their legacies.”