Humbled and brief, Jefferson County Sheriff Russ Cook sat behind a microphone at a press conference June 9 and announced he would be taking a leave of absence to “devote my full attention to confronting and defeating my addiction to alcohol.”
Emotionally, Cook was as shaken that day as he had ever been. With a month of residential treatment earlier this year behind him, Cook made his public announcement just after he stood before a portion of his 650-plus person staff to render a heartfelt address. He was so shaken that he couldn’t take questions during the press conference at the sheriff’s office.
“It was hard enough for me to just make the statement. I probably wasn’t in the position to take questions. I had just talked to my staff, and that was emotional because you’re exposing yourself to your weakness,” Cook said from his home June 12.
Cook said he first realized he had a problem last fall when he was the Golden police chief and was running for sheriff.
“I ignored it. I thought I could control it myself and it would go away,” he said.
But it didn’t go away. He found himself having a few drinks at night at his home in South Jeffco.
After he was sworn in, Cook’s workaholic tendencies threw his life out of balance. Diet, exercise and personal relationships also were out of kilter for Cook. That imbalance, he said, is a major factor in why he would drink.
“When I would drink, I would feel guilty. I wouldn’t get drunk. I knew I couldn’t drink,” Cook said, realizing that after a few drinks of whatever was at the house that he had to stop himself. “I would
never go out and drink. I just don’t do it. If you drink, you have to drive somewhere, and I just don’t believe in drinking and driving.”
Still, his once-hidden disease became evident to those closest
to him.
“People were telling me ‘You need to do something about this.’ I wasn’t real receptive to that, but I don’t think I was in the right mind at that time,” he said. “I’m pretty reserved. When people see you’ve become relatively flamboyant, maybe more reckless with your words and actions, people say that’s different than before.”
But their concern for him left an impression on Cook. In April, he entered a residential treatment program to get a handle on his drinking. He was both optimistic and overwhelmed by the challenge that faced him. Driving him was his devotion to his family and his job.
“It (residential treatment) was a sudden thing,” Cook said. “I learned a lot about myself. I learned about the disease, and it is a disease.”
After taking about 30 days off to deal with his problem, Cook returned to work in May.
“When I got out of treatment and got back to work, I felt better. I ate good. I slept better. I’d lost weight. I tried to do a lot of the things they taught me in treatment. But I kind of slid back. I didn’t follow through on what I learned in treatment,” he said.
Soon, Cook was back to his old routine: working tremendous hours, skipping meals or eating unhealthy, omitting exercise and drinking at the end of the day.
“I was trying to manage around it (drinking), and I don’t want to manage around anything in my life,” Cook said.
The drinking included a never-ending cycle of guilt and self-loathing.
“There’s no question that I’ve disappointed people. I’ve disappointed myself and others around me. I’ve disappointed my family. I’ve disappointed the people at work,” Cook said. “I did want to get it fixed in April, but it didn’t get fixed. I slipped.”
It was clear to Cook his alcoholism was still getting the best of him. It was time for something drastic, and Cook knew he couldn’t conquer the alcoholism while working endless hours at the sheriff’s office. That is why he is taking the leave of absence.
While Cook’s announcement June 9 made him more of a public figure than he wants to be, he said the move already has helped him.
“I don’t have to worry about who knows about it anymore. I don’t have to worry about the press speculating. I don’t have to worry about the deputies speculating,” Cook said. “I don’t want to destroy myself, my family or my career. I’ve been in law enforcement for 32 years. Do you think I like this?
“I’ve been gone two days, and I miss it so much. I miss the people. If I was going to put together a 650-plus organization, I couldn’t put together a better outfit. You cannot expect that I would not miss those people.”
In the days since Cook made his announcement, he said he has gotten about 25 to 30 calls from the public expressing their support.
Cook realizes that by going public with his battle, there is a chance, as a public figure, that his success could inspire others dealing with alcoholism.
“I’ve got a problem, and if
the side benefit of that is that it is helping someone else, I’ll love it,” Cook said.
It is possible more residential treatment is in store for Cook. The main treatment is behavior modification. He said he believes he can achieve that through restoring the balance in his life.
“If I could do this in one day, that would be great. But it’s not going to happen in one or two or three days,” Cook said. “But I can do this. I will do this.”